The idea of creating a blog has been in my mind for a while, ever since my sister Emilie introduced me to the then foreign world. Every once in a while, before I fall asleep or as I listen to a great song, monologues drift through my head and I can't help but think they may be brilliant (to me). Of course, the next day having woken up I can barely remember what I thought. I would like this blog to help me express myself more often without fear of what surrounds me interfering.
That brings me to my next hope for this blog. When I was in my mid-teens I liked to think I could do whatever I wanted without care of what others thought. Now I realize it's much the opposite. The majority of my life is spent withholding my true thoughts, feelings, and opinions in fear of disrespecting or offending another. At this point please don't get any ideas that my blog will be full of solioquized rampages. I do respect others and what people think of me is important. I would like to think that is a sign of maturity, but others may disagree. However, I worry that I may live more of my life in the shadows that what I dream of. So this blog will hopefully express more of my daydreams; what I yearn to depict but am afraid of rejection.
For instance, I often let those I respect put a label on me. It's not their faults, it's obviously mine. When I originally picked this template it had a very pink theme. My initial thought was originally of someone I admire who doesn't like pink. But I like it! I don't want this blog to be in defiance of what everyone else dislikes, but I do want it to be what I like. With this first post I've finally written what I want to say. And that makes me ridiculously happy.